I follow the mantra of when life gives you lemons, make lemonade and add vodka. Our lives just get crazy…all things that are solely for mom get dropped. The past few months have just been a frenzy of activity and it has been way too long since I have taken the time to write, it happens……I’m tired and chose to veg out instead of working, sorry not sorry. I have been enjoying the incredible summer like weather and sipping away on my nude vodka sodas….not lemonade but still fits the bill
So why have we been so busy? I have no freaking idea!! I mean I do, obliviously it’s my life but I guess its just typical of life with 3 tiny humans and making the most of being outside in the beautiful summer like weather. The kids have wanted to ride bikes and play with friends in the yard…..yay! but wait that means I need to be with them outside…..so nothing gets done inside and I have to do it all once they go to bed. Plus there is a never ending list of things to get ready for the summer season….we work hard and play hard. So I guess I will do outside chores, the veggie garden needed to be prepped, planned and planted. The raspberries tied up, pressure washing the deck and setting up my mom cave of deck plant heaven. Not to mention getting ready for camping season, buying a new trailer (a upcoming post….its a good one, I’m pretty sure my husband hates my great ideas most days lol) It has not all been work, I had a incredible cup filling weekend away with my bestie that was so needed that we both didn’t realize how much until we we’re pampered and relaxed in our spa robes all day. Also a visit with my mom, which is always the best……can not wait until they move here ( hint hint) and we just got home from our annual May Long weekend camping trip with our wolf pack Kate plus 8 boys under the age of 6 and that was just our immediate crew not the extras. Life has been crazy but we have been attempting to enjoy it along the way, some days are hard but that’s nothing new.
So I will be working to get a few post ready before we head off for our annual family camping road trip so that I don’t go missing from your lives for too long again……admit it you missed me too! I have lots of great posts planned, everything from my camping/outdoor activities with tiny human hacks to the best new drinks of the summer can’t wait to do that “research”. Stay tuned and don’t forget to make lemonade with all the lemons that life throws at you.
I feel like at 33 I should have a house that reflects style, on trend, functional and have purpose. But I live in a frat house. At any given time there is someone crying, passed out, puking, eating, drinking, screaming, running, wrestling, fighting, excessively touching you or hearing “I had a poop” from the bathroom…..parents you all know what I’m talking about. This happens everyday all day, it never changes. Nothing has a place or goes together, its frustrating because I would love to just redesign my whole house. Alas even if I had the extra disposable income (hahahah what is that?!) my fraternity would never allow it.
You see when you have 3 small humans who have taken up residence in your house all sense of style and keeping on home trends goes out the window…..literally I have seen my children throw my things out the window. It is like living in Animal House, if you’re lucky you can escape the day without having rager at your place because of course it being the frat house our friends come over and add further destruction and chaos. But like any good party house I stock my friends drinks of choice, because sometimes getting day tipsy while your kids play and you get to chat with your friend is the best kind of party……or the only kind of party that I can have. Note to self do not use your children’s excessive whining, bugging and asking for snacks as a drinking game…..you will die.
All of my furniture was either given to us or free and decor……yeah its pretty much everything that I have gathered during our years traveling before children and family photos in cheap frames because they broke the nice ones already. One day I when they are more civilized I will get to start from scratch and design a space that reflects my style and personality (guys you all know you have zero say how your home is decorated) but for now I’m grateful all of my furniture can be tossed because they will have no life left and my wreaking crew will have done their worst and it didn’t cost me a fortune. In fact it cost me nothing! So I am trying to embrace my frat house style for as long as I can while I pinterest ideas and drink wine, dreaming of the day I can move out.
A life time ago, I had a life that did not revolve around my army of children. I used to have fun and be carefree. I was lucky enough to find my best friend early in life and we made the most of it. Oh did we ever. We saw the world, we did “dangerous” activities. I use this term lightly because I am deathly afraid of heights, snakes, dark water and am not naturally adventurous but I did do things out of my comfort zone, not as cool as my husband but let’s just save that for another post. I saw things I never thought I would ever get to see, experience things I never imagined I would be capable of doing. We used to throw epic parties, load up our tiny truck and canoe and head out fishing for the day, we did what we wanted when we wanted and had so much fun along the way.
I miss those days, the endless freedom and minimal responsibilities. The simple pleasures of lying in the sun and reading a great book, or staying up too late ( I still do this most nights, I’m a night owl but I regret it every morning…kinda) I miss who I was, who my husband and I were together, I miss the ease and ability to not have to plan around naps, food and bedtimes. Or spending countless hours packing and prepping to have forgotten to bring a soother on a freaking string so they won’t lose it 5 mins in.
But I regret nothing, we did so much before our family came that when we finally decided to have our first baby we were as ready to let go of that life as much as we could have been. I do not regret having my sweet and adorable babies……ok most of the time I just question my judgement and think what the F was I thinking having this many but I always wanted them. I always felt that in all of our adventures something was missing, it was our little buddies. My biggest adventures was having my babies, I literally climbed mountains while pregnant with all of them, and man do they ever make me work for the fun these days but I still get to have fun. We still get to see the world, we traveled to Iceland with our first at 9 months old and it was one of my favorite places. We still get to load up our canoe even if it sat in our yard for 5 years and we had to upgrade our truck, I may not get to go fishing but my children get to have those moments now, they get to see the world with us and experience “dangerous” activities……I swear they all take after their dad and will kill me one day.
I do miss my old life, but it is a different kind of fun now. The kind that takes more work but at the end of the day, I get to create the fun in their eyes because they don’t need to be burdened with the rest. All they need to remember is the camping trips, birthday parties, trips to the beach and lake house, all the big epic moments and the little ones. I do miss being able to have fun with my husband, but for now we have to tag team and that’s just the phase of life we are in, one day soon we will have that time back together but for now we each get to escape for a day or 2 and have a little bittersweet fun without your best friend to share it with.
OK so first time moms sorry this is not your post, at least not yet! I remember my first never watching TV, I was able to watch Ellen or any number of day time shows while he played and basically ignored the TV. Then when he was about 2.5 years old we started our love affair with the pups. Let me tell you the second and third children became obsessed with Paw Patrol very early in life. You can count on those pups and trusty Ryder to give you 20 mins to make dinner, god forbid sit down for more than a few seconds ( you best make a snack if this is your game plan, because you know those little jerks are going to NEED a SNACK stat) you can even attempt to shower…..also with the door open, we’re mom’s that’s just how it’s going to be but those magical pups might just make it a solo shower for 5 mins.
Now a few things I have questioned over my years of watching countless episodes. First is I’m a little offended that Netflix asks me after a undisclosed amount of time if I want to keep watching……um mm yes! isn’t that why I started at season one episode one, mommy needs to get shit done today, stop judging my parenting Netflix. All jokes aside, I don’t even know what I would do if I could not count on the pups to save the day? Best to not think about that! Secondly once you are forced to watch, you start to question how these magical pups have captured your children’s minds and hearts. Because my baby girl at 18 months can point and name all the pups and gets down right pissed off when the show ends. The more you think about it the more it makes zero sense, how does a 10 year old boy have a high tech look out with 6 pups, multiple vehicles but yet only drives the quad……because he made a robot dog to fly the plane, drive the boat and giant bus, perks right?! Also how are all the adults on the show basically inept (this is being nice, don’t even get me started on the Mayor), a little girl runs a business, where are the parents and if the pups can talk why can’t the cats??
My only conclusion is that Ryder is Batman only he’s decided to be good and almost too helpful. Instead of fighting bad guys he just saves the day the paw patrol way. Well Ryder you save the day almost every day in our house, I can count on you to get me through the early mornings that I refuse to enjoy until after a drink at least one cup of coffee, the times when my kids are fighting and the baby is crawling up my leg while I attempt to get dinner ready in time, the times we read the books on the pool deck while one child is in lessons and the others have to wait and watch, the countless hours of enjoyment with the endless amount of merchandise. All I know is ” when your in trouble, just yelp for help” all too soon they will be asking to watch even more annoying and strange shows….have you seen Skylanders, what the F it makes even less sense, Ninja Turtles always leads to “we’re just playing ninjas mom” while doing flying kicks off the couch. I’ll stick with the always helpful and kind pups for as long as I can get away with it.
Let’s be honest, every time I heard “Self Care” I rolled my eyes. I am in no way saying that you should not get a little me time to do whatever you need to do, but come on, it just sounds like another freaking thing I have to do. To me its the ever present reminder that I am not enough, my cup is empty and I know I need to refill it but when. I am the last priority in my life, its sad but true. I have a constant list running in my head of all the crap that needs to get done, should get done, and never gets done. I have a full time job running this house and managing my children, business and organizing my life around a shift working husband. Tell me when are you supposed to find the time to sit and enjoy a little self care time because my brain does not stop when I get kid free time. The house still needs to be cleaned and shit still needs to get done, when I’m kid free its amazing how much I can get done. I can’t waste that productivity on “Self Care”.
Well I have learned that the term “Self Care” is not only referring to the times you get to sneak away for the weekend with your friends (the count down is on for my spa momcacation) but it is in the tiniest moments. The moments in your car when that song comes on the radio and you blast it and sing your heart out only to have your children tell you to stop….no you little monsters this is my jam and I will sing off key and rock out with Lady Gaga and Bradly Cooper…..you all know you have to sing to Shallow admit it and own it. But its also in the times you put your kids to bed early so you can bust out the wine and watch “this is us” while your husband’s on night shift. Or the times you get to start the day not looking like a hot mess at drop off, sometimes its having the extra cup of coffee and saying fuck it I’ll go to drop off in my yoga pants and hoodie (mom’s socially acceptable PJ wear). In the best moments when you don’t have to be mean boring gotta keep these tiny humans alive mom but ice cream and breakfast for dinner, yes little dudes yes we can mom!
My take away is that self care is what you make it, getting away to get a pedi or my hair done is a luxury in my world. I only get them a few times a year because of the time, mom guilt and brain just kills it. But take the time, find a way to fill your cup so that you don’t feel empty. Bring yourself a little light and joy that is what this movement is really about, you may have to do it at night after your kids are sleeping or call in Grandma to watch your kids so you can escape for the weekend but find a way, it really is that important.