Let’s be honest, every time I heard “Self Care” I rolled my eyes. I am in no way saying that you should not get a little me time to do whatever you need to do, but come on, it just sounds like another freaking thing I have to do. To me its the ever present reminder that I am not enough, my cup is empty and I know I need to refill it but when. I am the last priority in my life, its sad but true. I have a constant list running in my head of all the crap that needs to get done, should get done, and never gets done. I have a full time job running this house and managing my children, business and organizing my life around a shift working husband. Tell me when are you supposed to find the time to sit and enjoy a little self care time because my brain does not stop when I get kid free time. The house still needs to be cleaned and shit still needs to get done, when I’m kid free its amazing how much I can get done. I can’t waste that productivity on “Self Care”.
Well I have learned that the term “Self Care” is not only referring to the times you get to sneak away for the weekend with your friends (the count down is on for my spa momcacation) but it is in the tiniest moments. The moments in your car when that song comes on the radio and you blast it and sing your heart out only to have your children tell you to stop….no you little monsters this is my jam and I will sing off key and rock out with Lady Gaga and Bradly Cooper…..you all know you have to sing to Shallow admit it and own it. But its also in the times you put your kids to bed early so you can bust out the wine and watch “this is us” while your husband’s on night shift. Or the times you get to start the day not looking like a hot mess at drop off, sometimes its having the extra cup of coffee and saying fuck it I’ll go to drop off in my yoga pants and hoodie (mom’s socially acceptable PJ wear). In the best moments when you don’t have to be mean boring gotta keep these tiny humans alive mom but ice cream and breakfast for dinner, yes little dudes yes we can mom!
My take away is that self care is what you make it, getting away to get a pedi or my hair done is a luxury in my world. I only get them a few times a year because of the time, mom guilt and brain just kills it. But take the time, find a way to fill your cup so that you don’t feel empty. Bring yourself a little light and joy that is what this movement is really about, you may have to do it at night after your kids are sleeping or call in Grandma to watch your kids so you can escape for the weekend but find a way, it really is that important.
Well this is it, the start of something new, exciting, terrifying and yet comfortable. So a little bit about me, gah that’s even more terrifying to share! I have always been “That Girl” you know the one that is too much, too loud, full of life and zero bullshit tolerated also I have no filter and horrible at remembering names but yet I can remember the strangest events. So it was only natural that I became the kind of mom that is yelling at her kids to stop being morons usually because they are about to jump out of a tree or throw rocks or generally act like small drunk idiots, you don’t know if I have coffee, water or “mommy drinks” in my to go cup (this depends on the time of day people and if I’m finished my taxi duties for the day), I always pack enough snacks to share with the horde because lets face it they never stop asking for snacks and goldfish crackers will stop a meltdown….if your lucky.
I love my family and have always counted heads to make sure my babies are all still around…..HAHAHAHA they are ALWAYS still there, who are we kidding they never leave me alone. Unless we are outside then apparently they go feral and become one with nature, think lord of the flies, well maybe not that bad but they always seem to have a stick or rock in their tiny hands for smashing or hitting. I love big and hard, but would you expect nothing less from me? I have sacrificed and given up my identity, body, soul and mind for my family, here come the water works…..its so true of all moms, we have molded our lives to fit the needs of our families. I have been either growing a human, nursing and caring for infants for a total of 6 years. 6 Years!! During that time I have given up what I once thought was important, given up dreams and desires of what I wanted my life to become. But I have transformed my life, I have new dreams, bigger dreams and plans. Don’t get me wrong it freaking sucks having to find yourself all over again, but its a right of passage as I move from one form of womanhood to the next. The hard work is just beginning and I’m excited to see who I become I just have to have the courage to let myself grow and nourish those scary big thoughts in my heart and head.
And so it starts with this, I have so much knowledge and skills that I want to share with the world. I am the mom you think of to ask those random mom wisdom questions, after all I have done it 3 times and each time I think I got it figured out something else changes, I’ve pretty much seen everything and when they throw me a new curve ball I gotta figure it out too. So I wanted to start this blog to share my mom hacks, the hard moments, the brilliant ones, a transfer of all the knowledge moms have given me over the years, and maybe I can find myself in this journey too.